(From the book ‘What Faith Is’ by Kenneth E. Hagin, pp 17)
Faith says, “It’s mine — I have it now!”
Hope says, “I’ll get it sometime.”
As long as you hope, the answer will never materialize. But the moment you start believing, it will work.
That’s the lesson I learned on the bed of sickness many years ago. I had lain on that bed for 16 long months. In fact, I had been sick all my life. I had never run and played like other children. I did not have a normal childhood.
At the age of 15, I became totally bedfast. Five doctors were called in on my case. One of them had practiced at the Mayo Clinic and was considered one of the best doctors in America. They agreed there was absolutely no hope for me. As far as medical science knew, no one in my condition had ever lived past age 16.
Thank God for all the good books and tapes we have today on faith and healing. There wasn’t too much written about the subject in those days, and what there was I didn’t know about.
When you are bedfast 24 hours a day, you can do a lot of praying. I prayed hours on end, day after day, week after week, month after month, I cried and prayed, “Dear Lord Jesus, please heal me.” I begged Him to heal me. Several nights I prayed all night long.
I was thoroughly saved, but my praying brought no results. I’d pray – and I’d be certain God had heard me because I had a spiritual feeling of some of some kind. I’d just feel that that was it. Then I’d feel my pulse. My heart wouldn’t be beating right. My legs were still paralyzed, lifeless bones with a little skin stretched over them; no meat, no muscles in the thighs or calves.
I would start crying and say, “Lord, I thought You were going to heal me. I felt like You did. I just knew it. But You didn’t!”
I couldn’t understand it. For a while – about a month – I wouldn’t even look at the Bible. I decided I might as well give up.
Then I’d go right down to death’s door – right down into the throes of death. You could see where I’d worn the varnish off the headboard of my bed as I held on to it, fighting death with every fiber of my being.
Then I would come back to the Word of God, and although I couldn’t see where I was missing it, I would try to act on God’s Word. I would get some help and somehow get over the attacks, but still I did not receive my healing.
Finally, on the second Tuesday of August 1934, after being on the bed of sickness for 16 months, I was praying at about 8:30 in the morning, and I said to the Lord, “Now, dear Lord Jesus, when You were here on earth, You said in Mark 11:24, ‘What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.’ Dear Lord Jesus, I desire to be healed.
“You said, ‘When ye pray.’ I have prayed.
“You said, ‘Believe.’ Dear Lord Jesus, if You stood here by my bedside in the flesh, like my mother does; and if I could see You with my physical eye as I can see my mother; and if I could reach out with my physical hand and lay my hand on yours, as I can my mother’s hand; and if You were to say to me, ‘Son, the trouble with you is you’re not believing,’ I would have to reply to You, dear Lord Jesus, ‘You are lying about it — I do believe.'” (And i said this in kindness and not with arrogance.)
When I said this, He spoke to me.
I discovered the secret of faith that day.
Now Jesus did not speak literally, physically, as another human being might speak. He’s not here in the flesh. But the Holy Spirit is here. And the Holy Spirit shall not speak of Himself. Jesus said, “but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak…” (John 16: 13)
The Holy Spirit heard Jesus say it, and He spoke it in my spirit. On the inside of me these words were spoken: “Yes, you believe all right – as far as you know. But the last clause of this verse of Scripture is ‘believe that ye receive them and ye shall have them.’”
Then I saw it! It was just as if someone had turned a light on inside me. I saw it instantly!
I exclaimed, “Dear Lord Jesus, I see it! I see it! I have to believe I receive my healing. I have to believe I receive healing for my heart while my heart is still not beating right. I have to believe I receive healing for my paralysis even though I am still paralyzed from the natural standpoint. And if i believe that I receive it, then I have it!”
I had never seen that before. I had wanted to receive my healing first, and then believe it. But you don’t have to believe it then; you know it then. I saw hat I had been doing: i had been hoping all those months to receive healing, and it didn’t work.
If you follow the Word and the Holy Spirit, you will do things automatically. Although there had been some times in my long illness when I couldn’t use my hands too well, at this time I had fairly good use of them; it was my lower body that was paralyzed. After receiving this revelation of God’s Word, I immediately lifted my hands. Nobody told me to. i can’t explain why I did it; i just did it.
“Heavenly Father, dear Lord Jesus, thank God i am healed,” I prayed. “I believe I am healed.”
Now I had it in the right tense. Now I had it working for me. Now faith is. If it’s not now, it’s not faith. believing I was going to get my healing wouldn’t be present tense; it wouldn’t be faith.
“Thank You, dear Lord Jesus,” I said, “for my healing. I believe that my heart is well. I believe that my paralysis is healed. I thank you for the healing of my body.”
I did not time it — and I realize that a few moments can seem like a long time — but I think I must have praised Him along those lines for about 10 minutes. I spent those 10 minutes thanking Him because my heart was well and my body was healed.
Satan challenged me almost instantly, of course. Yes, he will contest every inch of ground you take. Immediately he said, “You’re a pretty looking thing. You claim to be a Christian, and you’ve started lying.”
Any other time he would have denied there is a hell or a lake of fire, but this time he said to me, “Don’t you know the Bible says all liars shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone?”
“Yes, I know that, devil,” I answered, “but I didn’t lie.” I knew it was the devil, because anything that is doubt or discouragement is of the enemy.
He replied, “Yes, you did! You were said you were healed and you’re not. Feel your heart.”
I was in the habit of feeling my heart to check it, and I unconsciously reached to feel it. When I did, I slapped my hand and said, “Don’t do it! Now, Mr. Devil, I didn’t say I felt as if I was healed. If I said that, I would be lying. I didn’t say anything about how I look or feel. I said I believe I am healed. I believe I am, and I receive the answer to my prayer. If you say I don’t believe it, then you’re lying. Besides that, you’re a liar anyhow – Jesus said you are.
“Jesus Christ, the Son of God, when he was here on the earth, said in Mark 11: 24, ‘What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.’ Jesus said it – and what He said is so! I believe it. If I believe it, then I’ll have it. I believe Him right now.
“If you want to argue and fuss about it, go argue with Jesus. I didn’t say it; He said it.”
That put a stop to the devil. I went back to my business of thanking and praising God for the answer.
I think I had been praising him for about 10 minutes more when from within my heart, my spirit, these words were spoken: “You believe that you are healed. But healed people – well people – haven’t any business in bed. They need to be up.”
“That’s right,” I answered. “Yes, Lord, that’s right. I’m going to get up!”
You see, I was believing, but faith is having. Believing is taking a step up – and you have to take all the steps.
I didn’t look any better, and I didn’t feel any better. Physically, I had no feeling from my waist down. I was still partially paralyzed. I had about two-thirds use of the upper part of my body.
I was propped up on big pillows so I could read the Bible. I pushed myself to a sitting position and pulled my knees up against my chest. Then I made an effort to twist my body, and I pushed my feet off the bed.
I got hold of the bedpost at the bottom of the bed and pulled myself off the bed. My feet fell on the floor like chunks of wood. I knew they were down there, not because I could feel them, but because I could see they were there. My knees sagged. There I stood, hugging the bedpost, my knees almost touching the floor. The room started spinning.
The devil was fighting me every inch of the way. Thoughts were coming into my mind as fast as machine gun bullets can fire. “You can’t walk and you know you can’t. You’re not healed and you know you’re not. You’re lying about it. You’re going to fall right here on the floor and you’ll just have to lie there.”
One of the best ways in the world to handle the devil is to completely ignore him. So I ignored him. I acted as if he hadn’t said anything.
Hanging on to that bedpost the best I could, I lifted one hand a little and said, “Thank God, I’m healed. I want to declare in the presence of Almighty God, the Lord Jesus Christ and the angels in heaven, in the presence of the devil and the evil spirits, that the Word of God is true, and I believe I am healed! I believe it.”
That old room was spinning, for I’d been lying flat for 16 months. I shut my eyes. In a few minutes I could tell things had quit spinning. I opened my eyes. Everything was back in place.
I said again, “Thank God, according to the Word I’m healed.” I believed it.
Then I felt something like a warm glow dropping on my head from above me. It seemed to flow down over me, as if a jar of warm honey had been poured over my head. It ran down my whole body.
When it reached my waist, feeling began to return to the lower part of my body. For a few seconds I felt excruciating pain. My legs felt like 10 million straight pins were pricking them. I would have cried if it hadn’t felt so good! When you haven’t had any feeling at all, it even feels good to hurt! Then I felt normal. The paralysis was gone.
I said, “I’m going to walk now,” and I did. And I’ve been walking ever since.
That is how I learned this principle of faith I’m teaching you. It works in receiving all of God’s provisions.